Relocation and Custody
We have helped a great many people relocate with their children in a variety of different circumstances and for a variety of different reasons.
This will result in the parent who is not local having a long-distance visitation schedule that will usually consist of:
Approximately 4-8 weeks during the summer break from school (generally one continuous block, but sometimes two periods of some number of weeks)
Every-other Thanksgiving break
The first or Second half of the Christmas break from school
Every-other Spring Break or every Spring Break
Optional long weekends if the parent comes into town and visits locally
We will also address a great many issues that long distances create, such as making and paying for travel arrangements, regular video-conferencing/phone contact, etc. Many of the issues particular to your case and the custodial provisions that will help with your children’s transition during your relocation will be discussed in your consultation.
Now, with all of that being said, relocation cases can be brutal. A prominent child psychologist in North Carolina once spoke to a group of lawyers in our county, including myself, and told us that the three things that are most likely to psychologically damage a child are: (1) Sexual and/or physical abuse, (2) alienation of one parent by the other, and (3) relocation of the child away from one of the child’s parents. By moving away from a parent, the children will suffer in a very real sense the loss of that parent. Sometimes this is unavoidable, as is often the case with members of the Military. Sometimes it could be preferrable, such as if there is a specialized medical treatment for a child offered in one State but not another, or if there is such a phenomenal employment opportunity for one parent that it will significantly improve the children’s opportunities in life. But at all times, a parent seeking to relocate the children will be facing an uphill battle. It is that parent’s obligation to prove to the Court that relocating the children away from the other parent will be in the children’s best interests.
The best interests of the children are always the ultimate standard. And you will have to convince the judge that the benefits of relocating will outweigh the loss of contact with the other parent. That is a tough task when the proposed move is one of preference rather than necessity, and rightfully so. The judge will be required to consider and weigh all of the following factors:
The advantages of the relocation in terms of its capacity to improve the life of the child;
The motives of the custodial parent in seeking the move;
The likelihood that the custodial parent will comply with the visitation orders when no longer subject to the jurisdiction of NC courts;
The integrity of the noncustodial parent in resisting the relocation; and
The likelihood that a realistic visitation schedule can be arranged which will preserve and foster the parental relationship with the noncustodial parent.
However, there are a great many facts and circumstances that will be considered by the Court in addition to those listed above when answering the ultimate and determinative question – Is relocating in the best interests of the children?
The judge cannot tell you where you have to live. You cannot be ordered to live in North Carolina, in any particular place in North Carolina or any other state. Even so, the judge can tell you that if you do relocate, then physical custody of the children is going to be given to the other parent and you will have a long-distance visitation schedule. This has led more than a few people to perceive themselves as being held hostage in one state or another. Technically and legally, that is wrong. You are free to go live wherever you want to, but when you have a custody dispute over your children you are no longer ultimately in control, the Court is. So, if you want your children to live with you and the Court won’t let you move them, then yes, it is going to feel somewhat like being held against your will. That is not because the Court is holding you here. It is because the Court is keeping your children here, and having your children in your care is more important to you than moving is.